7 Words - A Personal Development System
No   ·   Hello   ·   Thanks   ·   Goodbye   ·   Please   ·   Sorry   ·   Yes

7 Wisdoms - No

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Keywords for No

We mark boundaries to establish where we draw the line. If challenged, this is where we make our stand—to confront and engage. We cannot depend upon our society’s justice system to take care of our needs for the maintenance of good boundaries, we ourselves have that responsibility and it requires us to be honest and forthright about our personal power. We need to use whatever strengths we have to defend our position and we need to be both firm and clear in the application of them in support of our statement of negation. 

By the contours of our boundaries, we give definition to who we are. ‘Who am I?’ is a series of creative decisions, rather than simply an uncovering of something hidden. Identity is a living statement of a package of values that have repeatedly asserted themselves, constantly evolving and refining over a lifetime in order to give substance to some inner sense of ‘am-ness’, first described by qualities rather than identity. ‘Am true, am useful, am kind, am honourable’ are expressions of the fundamental building blocks of humanity that are seeking to be owned in a unique package by an individual ‘I’

It is meaning that gives freedom to involvement. Without meaning, what is life? Without freedom, life is slavery. Without involvement, life is wasted. These 3 qualities are so interconnected that they can be seen as aspects of each other. We tend to choose what is meaningful to us—so that having chosen, our involvements feel like the expression of freedom rather than the loss of it. By these choices we make known to others, and ourselves, the truth of who we are. In other words, our choices speak the truth of who and what we are, and we make them by saying No.  

To know truth all we need is to surrender to it, because it is all around us in every moment in everything we perceive and experience. We need to be highly attuned to be conscious of what is actually happening and to know that we are part of the greater whole. Such sensitivity is not easily accessible, and yet it is the unfolding towards such sensitivity that makes a spiritual path the most fascinating of all adventures. 

Workbook notes

The wisdom of NO

 At first sight the No word might be thought daunting. It’s usually the wrong answer—not what we want to hear—the response that stops us in our tracks. Or equally, the word we would rather not have to say to someone else because it’s not what they want either. It may mean bother. It indicates refusals, rejection, absence and denial…also resistance, disagreement and opposition—and a string of other things that are often directly contrary to our sense of what we want. 

And yet how could we learn without it? Without constraint, what is freedom? Without scarcity, what is abundance? Without selfhood, there would be no relationship. These aspects of human experience actually derive from the fact of limitation—as do compassion, patience, rationality and discipline—because they wouldn’t be needed in a world without it. Learning and growing are punctuated again and again by No. We are stopped from taking a wrong direction, we rethink and reorient ourselves and then continue, having become a little wiser perhaps.

q21 - 3 questions 

Do you stop people from taking advantage?
“That’s not fair!” we proclaim as a heartfelt complaint against injustice in the world. And we do it again and again as though we are surprised, unable to grasp a simple truth that actually life doesn’t dish up justice very often. People mostly take what they can and somehow find a way to justify that as OK… unless we stop them. It is for us to make our boundaries clear and enforceable so that others respect us and our choices. If we don’t do that, well then actually it’s our problem.  

Do you stick to your No decisions?
A true No is strong and consistent, not often changed by the persuasive voice of another. If it isn’t, then it’s just not real and will be frequently challenged or ignored. It doesn’t work to offer a wishy-washy hint at No. Let it be said clearly, firmly and once, then the tone of voice, the posture of body and expression of face will convey certainty and be respected.  

Do you mostly feel free from imposition?
Whatever we may think we're doing to keep strong boundaries, it is important to notice how we feel. If unable to be true to the inner self then somewhere our personal boundaries are compromised. This could be because we are projecting a false image - one that pleases parents, bosses and peers - and pretending all is well instead of clearly refusing to play their silly game. The resultant discomfort and inconvenience of making a stand is temporary, and more than compensated by the sense of dignity that develops within us.


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7 Words Concepts

How we speak, how we think and how we act are all bound up together.

Management mastery using 7 Words is about the journey from No to Yes being a delightful expression of wisdom and pragmatism.
The 7 Words System is a new method of management.
Masterful management requires us to expect the unexpected and manage it masterfully.
7 Words is a fluid and a neutral framework that can uncover the underlying dynamic in any situation so that a complete appraisal is made possible and nothing is overlooked.
The way I am needs to change from being a problem to being the solution.
7 Words can uncover a deeper understanding of exactly what’s going on, and what action it is most appropriate to take.
To change your circumstances, you’ll need to change yourself.
Our recognition of what we call a problem is simply a springboard towards finding imaginative and creative solutions to express our purposes and principles.
The answer to any question is contained within the question, as long as the question is properly stated.
7 Words can unlock any situation’s hidden logic and avoid the pitfalls of omission, confusion and deceit.
There is an underlying order of 7 that informs everything.
It is a rare and powerful gift to be able to see under the surface and identify the truth of a situation. Those who can have the edge.
There are 7 interactive elements to all situations.
Errors of omission are almost certain without the awareness that 7 Words creates.
This system sets out seven fundamental life aspects, which are necessary and sufficient to describe anything that goes on.
Our civilization, our very humanity depends upon accountability.
With words people can be persuaded of anything.
Words have power.
Words, thoughts, language, beliefs and ideas are inter-connected.
How we speak, how we think and how we act are all bound up together.
Is it our purpose to deceive—or to develop a true and deeper mutual understanding?
If language is corrupted then thinking cannot be otherwise.
It is both physically and psychologically healthy for us to speak clearly and truthfully.
To move towards a more peaceful society, we need to become clearer and more straightforward in our speech and thoughts.
We mostly do not say literally what we mean.
Let the problem direct us towards the solution.
As soon as we put our hearts into it something special unfolds.
If we want changes in our circumstances, then we need to make some changes inwardly too.
What was, is no more.
The work we are engaging with has to begin with ourselves.
7 Words can be applied at any level whether this is personal, corporate or global.
The main task is not really to affirm what we want; it is to clearly define what we don’t want.
The failure to define a problem correctly is the overwhelmingly most frequent reason for not finding a solution.
It’s so important to step back and consider things as they really are.
The absence of a quality is an aspect of that quality.
What appears to be a sloppy or meaningless use of words may well be a completely correct use of words to express sloppy or meaningless ideas.
If humanity would only release guilt and blame, what a joyful day that would be!
In business only two types of significant personal activity exist—individual activity and meetings.
Whatever category a meeting falls into, in every case there are seven quite different things going on—and a truly aware manager will be able to address all of them.
A group needs clear definition to operate effectively.
Images notwithstanding—who, actually, are we?
There’s no defending a false position.
Our attitude to service is the quintessence of our identity.
Energy follows attention.
The immediate circumstances speak truly of who and what we are right now.
Focus, focus, focus!
There are only two basic attitudes of perception—trust or suspicion.
Attention has attitude.
We reap what we sow.
The best feedback is our mistakes.
What makes the world a better place are qualities like warmth, gentleness, understanding, clarity and honesty.
Let people know they are appreciated.
Giving is an aspect of abundance. It attracts abundance.
‘I’ll scratch your back even if you don’t scratch mine’.
A decision cuts.
A detailed proposal is critical to the realization of an idea.
Clear intention is stated in specific terms.
Reward imagination—it’s very precious stuff.
Let us be moved towards vast possibilities!
Mistakes can be seen as useful information inputs, rather than as opportunities to blame.
‘I choose it, therefore it is!’
We call contracts agreements but they’re not, they’re acceptances.
Agreement occurs when two parties want the same thing; no negotiation or compromise is needed.
We have to find strategies to deal with Climate Change.
By reframing the problems we can try other ways to find solutions.
We say No! whenever our birthright of uniqueness is threatened.
We have learned how to produce things without learning how to dispose of them.
Vision is an horizon of the imagination.
We really do need to wake up now; the writing is on the wall.
If we continue to do what we’ve always done, then we will continue to get what we’ve always got.
‘Do I accept this 7 Words System? If so what do I do about it?’
Are you a sheep or are you a goat?
Give up what no longer challenges you to grow.
Without changing how we think, how can we expect to get different results?
There is evidence that thinking has an effect upon matter.
Without exercise, muscles atrophy—and so does will.
The ability to read the signs of change and respond immediately is a survival requirement.

Consider This

"Among all my patients in the second half of life ... there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life."

Carl Jung