7 Words - A Personal Development System
No   ·   Hello   ·   Thanks   ·   Goodbye   ·   Please   ·   Sorry   ·   Yes

7 Wisdoms - Goodbye

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Keywords for Goodbye

There is wisdom in knowing how to balance what has been against what can be. Each of the seasons has its own beauty, and each of the chapters of our life has value, yet the inertia of habit can make it quite difficult to respond enthusiastically to signs that the times have shifted and that the point has come to change direction. Comfortable and secure, we tend not to step out of the life-track of what is normal for us. So we may struggle to realize this: that we are either growing or dying. Let us be aware that a joyless, repetitive, humdrum, mindless life is not life at all; it is dying in disguise

The Goodbye instant is a link between two stories—the past and the future—which seem rather similar and yet have at least one major axiom different. The past holds us back and the future pulls us forward towards new lessons; we are crucified by any sustained indecision. We have to act. Action demands of us a greater degree of involvement than passivity and we are stimulated to a greater degree to touch depths of feeling that are not always engaged. It requires the resolution of dilemma; dynamically, it gives proof of decision. The very requirement of a decision is that we engage in order to awaken more fully, and penetrate into the deeper recesses of the self. Action can often express some quality or inner decision that might otherwise go unnoticed and would be left in the ethereal world of the unrecognised.

Although Goodbye itself is momentary, the process that surrounds it takes time. It is necessary to close down what has been opened and attend to all outstanding questions so that resolution takes place properly. Typically we don’t want to take responsibility to finish everything off tidily because it is more enjoyable for us to direct attention towards what will be and not what was. Our motivation to ‘do the right thing’ comes out of a sense of self-image that ‘I am the kind of person that finishes what s/he starts’:  a dignity of identity. Also it preserves and strengthens will, which otherwise could be undermined. The importance of completion is to do with tying up loose ends so that we can journey into the future knowing that there are no issues that will pull us back and diminish our possibilities for success in what is now about to begin.

Moving On
Moving on is likely to be an adventure—it is better like this because it helps us to make a clean break—although it can feel rather dangerous. It is good to set off from a prepared position of strength, having some degree of purpose, certainty of resolve and whatever resources we may need for the journey. Enthusiasm, born of the heart, is the joyous motivating vibrancy that carries us forward from a separation towards future involvements, and if we ride this wave as would a surfer then we have the right approach towards meeting an unknown future.

As an old door begins to close we are somehow squeezed to bring out more from a situation. An irreversible ending approaches, and there is an intensity of vitality to be felt, which has an energizing effect that pushes us to a deeper level of self-examination and self-expression. Perhaps in this is to be found the greatest gift of all: the wisdom, which validates and explains the purpose for the involvement and the need for it to finish.

Workbook notes

The wisdom of GOODBYE

The cycle of ordinary life can be seen as a succession of stages from No to Hello to Thank You and to Goodbye. We don’t like our circumstances (No) so we look outwardly for improvement (Hello), for a time we feel value in a situation (Thank You) and eventually we move on (Goodbye).

Everything comes to an end, so we need to have a process of completion in order to mark the ending clearly and irrevocably. Firstly there is the realization that either we have fulfilled our purpose or have discovered that it is unfulfillable. We may not have been entirely clear what our purpose was; yet now there is more understanding. With the 20-20 vision of hindsight we realize it’s done, and to continue would not further our cause. Next comes the decision, which is a resolution to act upon the realization and go through the necessary processes of completion in order that all the loose ends are tied up neatly and cannot reach into our future life to tug and restrain us. This allows us to move on, effectively letting go of the past.

q21 - 3 questions 

Are you good at avoiding being stuck in a rut?
Life is about movement so being stuck in any situation is not healthy. There is a strong tendency for all of us to continue to do what we have always done, and this carves the track of our lives. It becomes increasingly difficult to cut new paths when the old ones are deep and unquestioned so we may be caught up without knowing we are. We must realize that such unconscious habits of behavior need to be avoided lest we become trapped and begin to lose vitality.

Do you have courage to move into the unknown?
Typically many people fear the unknown. It takes decisive courage to overcome our disinclination to take risks, and this applies to all areas of life. New job, new town, and new relationship – these are all obvious. What about new opinions, new perceptions, and new beliefs? We know so very little! The universe of possibilities is vast and mainly unexplored, waiting there for our readiness to have an adventure.

Do you quickly let go of the past?
This question is profoundly correlated with happiness. To be happy usually means that we can let go of what we cannot influence. Mulling over our personal history can be useful if it brings a better awareness of the present, yet dwelling on past pain, lost opportunities, errors of judgment and so on – this will never bring us what we want. Life is now; it is the only thing that is real. So when we have properly completed our involvements, and tied up what needs to be resolved, then to move on requires us to let go.


Module 1    Module 2    Module 3    Module 4    Module 5    Module 6    Module 7

7 Words Concepts

The failure to define a problem correctly is the overwhelmingly most frequent reason for not finding a solution.

Management mastery using 7 Words is about the journey from No to Yes being a delightful expression of wisdom and pragmatism.
The 7 Words System is a new method of management.
Masterful management requires us to expect the unexpected and manage it masterfully.
7 Words is a fluid and a neutral framework that can uncover the underlying dynamic in any situation so that a complete appraisal is made possible and nothing is overlooked.
The way I am needs to change from being a problem to being the solution.
7 Words can uncover a deeper understanding of exactly what’s going on, and what action it is most appropriate to take.
To change your circumstances, you’ll need to change yourself.
Our recognition of what we call a problem is simply a springboard towards finding imaginative and creative solutions to express our purposes and principles.
The answer to any question is contained within the question, as long as the question is properly stated.
7 Words can unlock any situation’s hidden logic and avoid the pitfalls of omission, confusion and deceit.
There is an underlying order of 7 that informs everything.
It is a rare and powerful gift to be able to see under the surface and identify the truth of a situation. Those who can have the edge.
There are 7 interactive elements to all situations.
Errors of omission are almost certain without the awareness that 7 Words creates.
This system sets out seven fundamental life aspects, which are necessary and sufficient to describe anything that goes on.
Our civilization, our very humanity depends upon accountability.
With words people can be persuaded of anything.
Words have power.
Words, thoughts, language, beliefs and ideas are inter-connected.
How we speak, how we think and how we act are all bound up together.
Is it our purpose to deceive—or to develop a true and deeper mutual understanding?
If language is corrupted then thinking cannot be otherwise.
It is both physically and psychologically healthy for us to speak clearly and truthfully.
To move towards a more peaceful society, we need to become clearer and more straightforward in our speech and thoughts.
We mostly do not say literally what we mean.
Let the problem direct us towards the solution.
As soon as we put our hearts into it something special unfolds.
If we want changes in our circumstances, then we need to make some changes inwardly too.
What was, is no more.
The work we are engaging with has to begin with ourselves.
7 Words can be applied at any level whether this is personal, corporate or global.
The main task is not really to affirm what we want; it is to clearly define what we don’t want.
The failure to define a problem correctly is the overwhelmingly most frequent reason for not finding a solution.
It’s so important to step back and consider things as they really are.
The absence of a quality is an aspect of that quality.
What appears to be a sloppy or meaningless use of words may well be a completely correct use of words to express sloppy or meaningless ideas.
If humanity would only release guilt and blame, what a joyful day that would be!
In business only two types of significant personal activity exist—individual activity and meetings.
Whatever category a meeting falls into, in every case there are seven quite different things going on—and a truly aware manager will be able to address all of them.
A group needs clear definition to operate effectively.
Images notwithstanding—who, actually, are we?
There’s no defending a false position.
Our attitude to service is the quintessence of our identity.
Energy follows attention.
The immediate circumstances speak truly of who and what we are right now.
Focus, focus, focus!
There are only two basic attitudes of perception—trust or suspicion.
Attention has attitude.
We reap what we sow.
The best feedback is our mistakes.
What makes the world a better place are qualities like warmth, gentleness, understanding, clarity and honesty.
Let people know they are appreciated.
Giving is an aspect of abundance. It attracts abundance.
‘I’ll scratch your back even if you don’t scratch mine’.
A decision cuts.
A detailed proposal is critical to the realization of an idea.
Clear intention is stated in specific terms.
Reward imagination—it’s very precious stuff.
Let us be moved towards vast possibilities!
Mistakes can be seen as useful information inputs, rather than as opportunities to blame.
‘I choose it, therefore it is!’
We call contracts agreements but they’re not, they’re acceptances.
Agreement occurs when two parties want the same thing; no negotiation or compromise is needed.
We have to find strategies to deal with Climate Change.
By reframing the problems we can try other ways to find solutions.
We say No! whenever our birthright of uniqueness is threatened.
We have learned how to produce things without learning how to dispose of them.
Vision is an horizon of the imagination.
We really do need to wake up now; the writing is on the wall.
If we continue to do what we’ve always done, then we will continue to get what we’ve always got.
‘Do I accept this 7 Words System? If so what do I do about it?’
Are you a sheep or are you a goat?
Give up what no longer challenges you to grow.
Without changing how we think, how can we expect to get different results?
There is evidence that thinking has an effect upon matter.
Without exercise, muscles atrophy—and so does will.
The ability to read the signs of change and respond immediately is a survival requirement.

Consider This

"We can love people without liking them"

Joseph Murphy